Thanksgiving Puns and
Jokes If April showers bring May flowers what do
May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
Why did the turkey
cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
Why do
turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never
learned good table manners!
What sound does a space
turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
Why did the
police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl
play.
Why did the Indian chief wear so many
feathers?
To keep his wigwam.
Why did they let the
turkey join the band?
Because he had the
drumsticks
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at
by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape.
'Twas the
night of Thanksgiving,
but I
just couldn't sleep...
I tried counting backwards,
I
tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned...the dark
meat and white,
but I fought the temptation with all of my
might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation,
the
thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the
kitchen, flung open the door
and gazed at the fridge, full
of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered
potatoes,
stuffing with gravy, green beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
till all
of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the
ceiling, floating into the sky
with a mouthful of pudding
and a handful of pie
But, I managed to yell as I soared
past the trees...
Happy eating to all -- pass the
cranberries, please.
Asked to write a composition
entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," a student wrote, "I am
thankful that I'm not a turkey."
A turkey farmer was
always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey.
His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there
were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating
attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts
to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I
finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all
asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the
farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"
Turkey..jokes
Why didn't the turkey want any lunch?
He was already
stuffed!
Why do pilgrims pants keep falling
down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
What did the widowed mother turkey say to her
disobedient children?
If your father could see you
now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Which side of the
turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
What
can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or
lunch!
WHY Did the turkey cross the road?
It
was the chicken's day off.
If the Pilgrims were alive
today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE
Why can't you take a turkey to church?
Because
they use such FOWL language
What's the best dance to
do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot
Why did
the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl
play
Why did the Indian chief wear so many
feathers?
To keep his wigwam
What happened when
the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing
knocked out of him
What is the key to a good
Thanksgiving dinner?
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