Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done.
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Cosmetics: A woman's way of keeping a man from reading between the lines.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wrong man!
First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Marriage is a three ring circus:
engagement ring
wedding ring
suffering.
Everyday, see how many things you can be thankful for. Say them over to yourself. Face the difficulties. They have to be dealt with. But, a positive, thankful psychology has written in it the power to make things good, better, best. (Norman Vincent Peale)
Some times things go wrong all day: your computer freezes up during an important project, you get a flat tire when you're running late, the washing machine snaps a belt when it's full of soggy towels. It is easy to lose perspective at times like these. It is easy to see more rain than rainbow.
But take a moment to think of something you can give thanks for. Maybe it's a dear friend who sent you a card. Perhaps it's a helpful stranger who picked up the money you unknowingly dropped in the grocery line. Maybe it's the coupon you clipped out of the paper for a discount on an oil change.
Count everything you can be thankful for today. Remind yourself you have been given an abundance of blessings that enrich, brighten, and sweeten your life. All around you are little blessings. Point them out to yourself and watch them multiply. The more you give thanks, the more reasons you'll find to be thankful.
Then tell others how thankful you are. Try thanking the store clerk for her efficiency, the bus driver for getting you there safely, the gardener for making your neighbor's lawn look so nice. See how many hearts you can lift and smiles you can elicit.
This is Rex Barker C.S. (Continuing to See) suggesting that when you guide your thoughts towards thankfulness, disappointments quietly fade away. As you give thanks for the little things in life, you will sense a feeling of well-being in your soul. As you allow yourself to dwell on the things for which you are grateful, you will sense a lightening of your daily burdens.
Writer(s): cahn/van heusen Love and marriage, love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage This I tell you brother You can't have one without the other Love and marriage, love and marriage It's an institute you can't disparage Ask the local gentry And they will say it's elementary Try, try, try to separate them It's an illusion Try, try, try, and you will only come To this conclusion Love and marriage, love and marriage Go together like a horse and carriage Dad was told by mother You can't have one without the other
