HOSPITAL GIFTS

DADS ARE LIKE SUNFLOWERS
IN THE GARDEN,
HEAD AND SHOULDERS ABOVE THE REST 

GOD COULDN'T BE EVERYWHERE 
SO HE MADE GRANDMAS. 

ALWAYS MY DAUGHTER 
NOW TOO MY FRIEND. 

I AM IN GREAT SHAPE 
AND THE SHAPE IS ROUND. 

I CLEANED MY HOUSE LAST WEEK, 
SORRY YOU MISSED IT. 

LOVE, LAUGHTER AND FRIENDS 
ARE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE. 

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED... 
TRY IT YOUR WIFE'S WAY. 

I CAN ONLY PLEASE ONE PERSON PER DAY.
TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. 
TOMORROW DOESN'T LOOK GOOD EITHER 

MY JOB IS SECURE. 
NOBODY WANTS IT. 

WARNING. 
I HAVE AN ATTITUDE. 
AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT. 

I EAT ALL THE MAIN FOOD-TYPES: 
FROZEN, PACKAGED, MICROWAVE & FAST. 

HOW CAN I MISS YOU 
IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY? 

DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY 
THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN. 

BOTH OF US CAN'T LOOK GOOD... 
IT'S EITHER ME OR THE HOUSE. 

SOME DAYS ARE 
A TOTAL WASTE OF MAKEUP. 


AND FINALLY,  
THE REASON FOR THESE HOSPITAL GIFTS.  
THEY ARE FROM LITTLE CERAMIC PLATES IN THE HOSPITAL GIFT SHOP.  
JANUARY 8, 2004 MY WIFE LOIS SUFFERED A FULL LENGTH AORTIC DISSECTION.
IT KILLED JOHN RITTER, THE ACTOR.
70% OF ALL VICTIMS DIE WITHIN 2 HOURS TO 2 WEEKS.
ON JUNE 18, 2004, LOIS UNDERWENT THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE TO SAVE HER LIFE.
50% OF ALL PATIENTS DIE IMMEDIATELY DURING THE OPERATION.
LOIS CAME OUT OK WITH 12 INCHES OF DACRON WRAP AROUND HER UPPER AORTA.
EVEN WITH THIS 2ND MIRACLE, LIFE EXPECTANCY IS 5 YEARS FOR SURVIVORS.
MOREOVER, LOIS HAS BEEN LIVING WITH HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE NEAR STROKE OR HEART ATTACK
FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS.   2 WEEKS AGO SHE SUFFERED A STROKE THAT HAS PARALYZED
HER LEFT SIDE.   LOIS NEEDS A KIDNEY STENT TO CONTROL HER BLOOD PRESSURE.
HOPEFULLY, THEY WILL OPERATE THIS WEEK WITH GOOD RESULTS.