"Econ101 - Computers Will Fix Our Financial Mess Big Time and Our Nation's Health Problems"

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut.   May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi I'd like to order."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number yeah hold on eh it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you Mr. Sheehan.   I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive and the phone number's 494-2366.   Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566.   Which number are you calling from sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home.   Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the system sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh well I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Siryour medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.   Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn.   What do you recommend then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza.   I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Wellyou checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week sir.   That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right all right.   Give me two family-sized ones then.   What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you your wife and your four kids sir.   The 'damage' as you put it heh heh comes to $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.   Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either sir.   Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind.   Just send the pizzas.   I'll have the cash ready.   How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind sir.   It'll be about 45 minutes sir.   If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments so your car got repo'ed.   But your Harley's paid up so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language sir.   You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else sir?"

Customer: "No nothing.   Oh yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics."